The sky is pale blue today and the August breeze swirls around my legs in its coolness.  The flowers wave to and fro as they work to catch every moment of sunshine they can before the days grow shorter and fall arrives.  Leaves will create a mosaic of colors that puddle and skip across the lawn. 

 

It is so serene outside, despite the noise of summer travelers from the road, that sitting here simply watching a hummingbird dart here and there at my flower boxes is a rare moment of serenity in my life.  I have my papers beside me, introduction to my qualitative study and chapters one and two that need reworking (again) and Hoover is content for the moment sharing my space and taking a mid morning snooze.

 

I have given up the notion that I will return to my fall schedule with any sort of Coppertone like tan, and have some mild regret to adventures not yet taken, but the peace and quiet of summertime rejuvenates not only my body, but my mind as well. I’ve had the luck of spending a fair amount of time with both of our sons this week and it is a marvel how, as they continue to evolve as men, they instinctively share the very essence of their parents.

 

They love too hard, they give of themselves just to see a smile on someone’s face, and in their own way, believe that there should be goodness and decency in all people. Perhaps there is, and when we talk of the toxic ways people live their lives, it becomes more evident to them on how they will choose to live.  They share our stubbornness and our strength in varying degrees.  They take a step back from themselves and try to understand what another person’s trials are.  They feel beaten down at times, but the perseverance that drives us, drives them as well.

 

I try hard not to be a “helicopter parent” but I warn them that it’s hard not to impulsively don my imaginary super hero cape and save them when they fall.  We’ve gone from scars on our knees, to scars on our hearts.  As parents, and adults, we carry that knowledge with us and out of love, hope to spare them if we can.

 

There are days that never seem to end, but in all reality, life is short.  The older I become, the more cognizant I am of not wasting a moment of my days in sadness and regret.  I remind myself that I can’t wish for my Mom to live forever and deny the passing of time.  I can’t retrace my steps and take the other fork in the road hoping for a better ending.  I don’t have a super hero cape and I can’t prevent heartache and setbacks – there just isn’t a band-aid big enough.

 

Like the passage of the seasons, so are our lives.  Perhaps my thoughts do wander today but sometimes out of nowhere I have the most amazing revelations about my own life, and of those I love.  I am in awe at the miracle of life; when I study an intricate flower, or listen to our sons.  Laughter and love are more powerful than anything a pharmacy can prescribe.  Obtaining another degree most likely won’t make me happier and there will always be days of rain, and troubled people who wish to rob us of our own joy.  What is important, however, is to savor all the goodness of our days and allow those moments to be our buffer when the storms roll in.  Be true to yourself, believe that the sun will shine again, and continue to be amazed and humbled at the gift we have been given of each new day.  Enjoy today.

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